How to Reboot Your Goddamn Router (Because You’re Too Special to Figure It Out)

Welcome to the guide that shouldn’t exist, but here we are because apparently, this is rocket science for some people.

Step 1: Locate the Magical Box

First, use your incredible powers of observation to find that blinking piece of plastic you’ve been ignoring for months. It’s probably hiding in plain sight, covered in dust, because why would you ever need to look at it?

Step 2: The Revolutionary Act of Unplugging

Now, brace yourself for this groundbreaking technique: unplug the damn thing. Yes, that means physically removing the cord from the wall. I know, it’s rocket science.

Step 3: Exercise Patience (If You’re Capable)

Wait a whole 30 seconds. I realize this might be an eternity for your goldfish-like attention span, but try to persevere. Maybe count to 30 really slowly if numbers are your thing.

Step 4: The Mind-Blowing Reconnection

Alright, genius, now plug it back in. Make sure it goes into the same hole it came out of. This step may require all two of your brain cells, so concentrate hard.

Step 5: Watch the Light Show

Stare in awe as the lights on your router blink back to life. It’s almost like watching a Christmas tree, except it’s actually useful.

Step 6: Test Your Incredible Achievement

Finally, open a web browser and see if you’ve managed to resurrect your internet connection. If it works, congratulations! You’ve accomplished what a trained monkey could do. If not, well, maybe it’s time to accept that technology just isn’t your strong suit.

There you have it, a foolproof guide that even you can’t screw up. Now go forth and enjoy your newly rebooted router, at least until you inevitably need to do this again in a week.